Comparison is the Thief of Joy

I was doomscrolling on Instagram the other day when I came across someone I used to compete with in CrossFit. He’s living in Dubai now and is in insane shape. But one of his posts stopped me cold; he claimed that any man without a six-pack is weak and mediocre, that you’re dishonouring yourself and those around you.

I couldn’t believe it.

Now, I’m all for people striving to move better, train harder, and become healthier versions of themselves. But a six-pack doesn’t define you, and not having one definitely doesn’t make you weak. It was an insane stance to take, especially from someone who jabs himself in the arse with a chemical cocktail every morning.

Is he in great shape? Absolutely.

Would I look at him and think, Gaz, hop on that treadmill, big boy, you’ve got work to do? 100%.

But how he got those results matters.

It’s like telling someone struggling financially that they’re a loser for not being rich when you made your money robbing banks.

Or paying €200 for a fancy meal only to have the chef tell you he ordered it in from next door and just plated it himself.

That’s when it hit me: comparing yourself to others is a black hole. It only leads to frustration and sadness. We compare our lives to 10-second clips of someone else’s highlight reel, moments carefully curated to sell you an illusion.

Social media has built an industry on fake beauty, “alpha” masculinity, and shortcuts to success. Influencers sell toxicity disguised as self-improvement: pills instead of discipline, business “platforms” instead of hard work. Since when did effort stop being something to be proud of? Since when did your progress become less valuable just because someone else’s looks flashier online?

There’s a quote I love:

“I, myself, am made entirely of flaws, stitched together with good intentions.”

One of my many flaws is comparison. I catch myself thinking I should be further along, making more money, driving a better car, training harder, looking fitter. The societal timeline can be a cruel measuring stick.

However, the truth is that comparison steals your joy. It robs you of pride in your own progress. It overshadows your milestones and blinds you to how far you’ve come.

In my achievements, I rarely share them publicly. I feel I come up with excuses as to why I shouldn't, mainly because of what others are doing/thinking online. Almost to the point of embarrassment. Even with my wonderful business, the amazing community of The Workshop, I find myself comparing our third place to others. Seeing others with full classes and membership waitlists. Asking myself why we are not full, when instead I should be telling myself how amazing it is to have grown this incredible community. Focusing on the countless acts of beauty that are shown throughout our gym walls every day.

Your journey is yours alone, your path, your pace. No one else’s.

Real beauty isn’t found in filters or physiques. It’s found in the way you live each day, how you show kindness (to others and yourself), how you celebrate others’ wins, and how you keep showing up when no one’s watching.

Every day is an opportunity to do a little better, to chase real success and real beauty — the kind that begins within.

Let’s stop comparing and start appreciating. Because the first right place to look for joy is in yourself.